The Book
Foreword
This book on parenting our boys is a welcome and delightful read. It addresses the common belief that we do well in raising our girls to be responsible and caring, but we don't seem to do as well with our boys.
Whether you agree with that or not, you will find this book to be both instructive and enjoyable... Read more
The author, a mother of three boys, writes in a simple and very candid manner. She writes with her whole heart, mind and soul and with an openness that is truly generous. The examples are real, clear and concrete. Any parent can instantly relate to them. Many parts deserve to be highlighted. One is the part where she reminds us that "kids have different blooming stages."
The chapter on how to handle money is particularly comprehensive, detailed, practical and useful. She recounts how she taught her boys how to value and save money, sowing the seeds for creative entrepreneurship. It is written in a fun and playful way.
Emphasizing the importance of family rituals is also a very good advice.
A unique feature of the book is the invitation at the end of each chapter entitled "Let Us Share." She invites the parent-readers to give their own thoughts, comments, and suggestions. It makes the book interactive and dynamic. This can be the start of families gathering together to build communities that can serve as an effective support system.
A big bonus is the write-up on the actual lives of successful men in our midst who serve as worthy role models.
Being a proud mother myself, of three wonderful sons who have solid integrity and the passion to contribute productively and creatively to society, I personally and truly appreciate this book.
I agree with the author when she says that "raising our sons well is one of the best things that we can do for our country."
Ma. Lourdes Arellano Carandang, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychologist
Founding President, MLAC Institute for
Children and Families
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INTRODUCTION |
i |
CHAPTER 1: |
MEET MY BOYS |
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My Showcase Son |
1 |
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My Gentle Second Boy |
4 |
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My Third and Great Challenge (Our Bundle of Joy and Passion) |
6 |
Read more |
|
INTRODUCTION |
i |
CHAPTER 1: |
MEET MY BOYS |
|
My Showcase Son |
1 |
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My Gentle Second Boy |
4 |
|
My Third and Great Challenge (Our Bundle of Joy and Passion) |
6 |
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CHAPTER 2: |
CELEBRATE THEIR DIFFERENCES |
|
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Personality types |
9 |
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Birth Order Affects Personality |
13 |
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CHAPTER 3: |
Pre-school |
19 |
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"Big School" (Grade School and High School) |
24 |
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College |
31 |
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CHAPTER 4: |
STUDY HABITS AND OTHER SCHOOL MATTERS |
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First Day Blues |
34 |
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Introduction to Study Habits |
35 |
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Same Time Same Spot |
36 |
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Patience |
37 |
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The Goal is Independence |
38 |
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Keep it Fun |
39 |
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Quarterly / Periodical Exams |
40 |
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Tutors: To Hire or Not to Hire |
42 |
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Television |
44 |
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Computers |
46 |
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Grades and Honors |
48 |
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Final Word on Grades and Honors |
51 |
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CHAPTER 5: |
SPORTS |
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Boys are Wired for Sports |
53 |
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Sports is Beyond Physical |
54 |
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Our Sports Experiences |
55 |
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Life Lessons |
57 |
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CHAPTER 6: |
MONEY MATTERS (Our Sons' FQ) |
60 |
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Know your Money Values |
61 |
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Down Memory Lane |
62 |
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When Do You Start |
65 |
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French Fries |
65 |
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How Much? |
66 |
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The Load |
68 |
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Investment Lessons |
69 |
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I Want More Stocks |
72 |
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Extra Income |
72 |
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Balance Sheet |
73 |
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Graduation Gift |
74 |
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Games You Can Play |
75 |
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Positive Effect on Self-Esteem |
75 |
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Freedom to Follow Their Passion |
78 |
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The Value of Money |
78 |
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CHAPTER 7: |
BOYS ARE "EMO" TOO (The Emotional Life of Our Boys) |
81 |
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Our Early Years |
82 |
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You Are Safe with Papa and Mama |
82 |
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The Value of Family Dinner in Our Emotional Life |
83 |
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Expressions of Love and Anger |
83 |
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Bullying |
85 |
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Ways of Communicating |
87 |
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The Relationships of our Sons |
89 |
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With Mother |
89 |
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With Father |
90 |
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With Brothers |
91 |
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With Grandparents |
92 |
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With Cousins, Friends and Neighbors |
93 |
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With Household Keepers |
93 |
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With God |
94 |
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The "Con" |
94 |
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CHAPTER 8: |
FAMILY TRADITIONS |
97 |
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Christmas Specials |
98 |
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Holy Week Specials |
100 |
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Coming of Age Rituals |
100 |
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Other Annual Specials |
104 |
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Everyday and Other Regular Rituals |
107 |
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CHAPTER 9: |
A MOTHER'S DILEMMA: TO WORK OR NOT TO WORK |
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My Journey to My Decision |
112 |
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First Taste of "Housewifery" |
115 |
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Middle Ground Manna from Heaven |
116 |
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Second Thoughts and Second Wind |
116 |
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The Decision Should be Yours |
118 |
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Be an Exciting Homemaker |
118 |
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CHAPTER 10: |
LESSONS FROM THE WINNERS |
123 |
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Interviews with Parents of Successful Pinoy Men and Boys |
A. |
From My List: |
|
Lance Gokongwei |
124 |
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Tony Meloto |
130 |
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Tony Tan Caktiong |
138 |
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Bo Sanchez |
144 |
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Nestor, Raul and Lorenzo Tan |
150 |
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Chris Tiu |
156 |
B. |
From My Sons' List: |
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Evan Chen |
163 |
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Jasper Tan |
166 |
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Rafa Antonio |
168 |
C. |
My Family and Friends |
171 |
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CHAPTER 11: |
FINAL THOUGHTS |
176 |
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THANK YOU NOTE |
181 |
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SOURCES |
182 |
Introduction
I am a mother of three wonderful boys. Two decades ago when I first embarked on my parenting journey, I was just like most first time mothers. I was half clueless but 100% excited. Along the way, from first son to second son to third son, I encountered some "Ooopps...wrong move." and "Yes! I'm getting very good at this!" Read more
Raising my boys, with the help of my husband, has been the most enjoyable, challenging and profound experience for me. I have put my 100% effort and passion in it. I have also come to realize that raising our children well is the greatest contribution we parents can make to society. And raising our sons, our Pinoy boys, well is indeed very important because they are the future heads of Pinoy families.
I like sharing some of my thoughts and stories about raising my boys. I do this with my friends and even new acquaintances. You know how it is with mothers. Put them together in a room and they will always talk about their children. They usually start with "How old are your children?" "Where do they study?" Before you know it, they are swapping stories about their labor and end up sharing tips on how to raise their children. I usually find myself in this situation. It is always a delight when a parent tells me, "Wow I learned something from you, let me try that with my son."
Over the years, I wrote about my parenting experiences in my notebook and later on, my laptop. It was my way of expressing and savoring the joys and processing the frustrations I encountered. I also attended a lot of seminars and workshops and read a lot of books on parenting. Most of all, I learned a lot from the parenting experiences shared by my family and friends. Then I realized that I had with me a wealth of materials worth sharing with other parents.
I thought of compiling all these into a book about raising Filipino boys. I have in my library a few books about parenting boys but they were written by foreign authors about raising boys in their country (mostly the United States). This book project lingered with me for quite some time because of some hesitations. Foremost was my concern of putting undue pressure on my sons as I will be sharing a lot of their stories. So should I wait for all of them to become respectable adults? What if I wont be around anymore? Besides, what time frame do I give myself before I can say yes, I have raised my boys well? When they have all reached adulthood? Have become good fathers themselves? Have become good grandfathers?
So what the heck (a favorite expression of my youngest son these days), I will just do it. Not later, but now while I am still in the heat of it. If I wait too long, I might be too old to remember, or I might be talking a language different from the language of the parents reading the book.
I believe that there is no one single formula in raising our children. I always say, "to each his own", "different strokes for different folks." But when we share experiences with others, we definitely enrich each others parenting. I was very fortunate to have been granted interviews with parents of successful Pinoy men and boys. I am also sharing their parenting stories with you in this book. This book is also accompanied by an interactive web site. After each chapter, I invite you to log on to www.RaisingPinoyBoys.com and share with me and the other readers your insights and experiences about the topic. I look forward to hearing and learning from you too.
We all wish that one day our country will finally become a great nation with talented honest citizens all working for the common good. We also lament how hard it is to be honest when we deal with bureaucracy. When we try to pay the right taxes, some tax collectors even see to it that we don't, so they can pocket the rest. We sometimes end up in a vicious situation of "If you can't beat them, join them."
Allow me to share with you my lofty dream which is the main reason why I wrote this book:
I dream that all Filipino parents will raise their children so well that in the future we will have an abundance of talented, honest and competent Filipino children who will grow up to be talented, honest and competent Filipino adults who will always do the right thing whether someone is looking or not. Their number will reach a critical mass that they will be the norm and not the exception. This will be the time when If you cant beat them, join them will be applied on the dishonest and incompetent citizens so that they too will acquire the honesty and competence of the majority. Wow! This will be our tipping point to finally become the great nation we are destined to be. I hope that this book will be my humble contribution to this dream.
See overview for each chapter
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About The Book
The book is a candid narration of the author's two decades of experiences in raising her sons. She shares the joys and challenges she encountered giving birth, getting to know their individual personalities, finding their schools, forming their study habits, engaging them in sports, developing their emotional and financial intelligence, and more. She also narrates the growing up years of the men and boys she and her sons admire, as told by their parents.
In Raising
Pinoy Boys, parents share their stories with the hope of inspiring others to become better parents with renewed passion and joy.
- Ebook Versions are now available!
- Kindle via Amazon
- iBook via iTunes
The book is now available at the following outlets:
- 1. Xavier School, Greenhills, San Juan City, Phils.; Tel. (632) 723-0481; www.xs.edu.ph
- 2. Ateneo High School PUSH Office, Loyola Heights, QC, Phils.; Tel. (632) 426-6601; www.admu.edu.ph
- 3. Ateneo Grade School Loyola Heights, Q.C., Phils.; Tel. (632) 426-6601; www.admu.edu.ph
- 4. Our Lady of Consolation Parish; Mira-Nila Homes, QC, Phils.; Tel. (632) 931-1999
- 5. Central Books branches nationwide - Tel. (632) 372-3550; www.central.com.ph
- 6. Fully Booked branches - Tel. (632) 858-7000; www.fullybookedonline.com
- 7. National Bookstore branches - Tel (632) 631-8061 ; www.nationalbookstore.com.ph
- 8. Powerbooks branches - Tel (632) 757-6428 ; www.powerbooks.com.ph
- 9. A Different Bookstore - Tel (632) 856-0330; www.powebooks.com.ph
- 10.MLAC Institute for Children and Families - Tel. (632) 569-9726; www.mlacinstitute.wordpress.com. An autographed copy of the book may be delivered to your doorstep (within the Philippines) for a minimal courier fee of P50. Please text your order to (0927) 515-9011.
- 11. Carewell Community (Cancer Research and Wellness) - Tel (632) 815-1294; www.CarewellCommunity.org
For WHOLESALE PURCHASES, call or text (0927) 515-9011.